A messenger from the palace arrived at noon with an invitation for Peter. Unfortunately, he didn’t understand it. Marla and Egbert were bent over it, trying to decipher some hidden meaning, frustrated at a lack of details. The poor messenger was standing in the doorway wringing his hands, waiting for a reply.
“We have two options. No, three, sorry. We can wait for you two to figure this out, we can send a reply asking for clarification, or I can just follow this messenger back and make someone uncomfortably aware of the consequences of ambiguous wording.” The messenger’s eyes widened at the last, clearly distraught at the thought.
“Or I can go up the chain of command until I find someone who deals with this nonsense regularly,” Egbert countered.
“We do have some wiggle room with your being a foreigner, but as your guides it will reflect poorly on us if we let you behave too outlandishly,” Marla added.
“I suppose you’re right. I just feel the need to be doing something.”
“Yeah, this uncertainty is frustrating. I think this is actually suggesting you accept a room in the palace, which is a bit suspicious,” Marla said.
“I’m not sure I would be able to go along with that, if it’s the case. Going there for a few hours sometimes is one thing, but just being there until I can go home? No thank you. Is there a way we can say that politely?”
“I don’t know, I’m not used to this. I picked up a bit, but not enough. I’ll stall with a misunderstanding.” Marla wrote something, sealed it, and handed it to the messenger who took off. “Now that he’s gone, I think maybe we should consult some of our contacts. Those in charge of the guards, Barnabas, and … do we even know anyone else in this city?”
“I certainly don’t,” Peter answered.
“Me neither,” Egbert added.
“What are we doing, then?” Marla asked them.
“I’m going for a walk,” Peter replied.
“I’m going to talk to folks here, see if any of them have anything useful to say,” Egbert answered.
“Okay, well, I don’t think Peter should be wandering around on his own, so I’ll go with him. Have fun, Egbert.”
It was hard to say whether it was intentional or not, but Peter led Marla back to the magic ward. He didn’t go straight to where he had met Barnabas, giving in to his curiosity and having a look around instead. Part of his intent was exercise, burning off excess energy. Unfortunately for his curiosity, he didn’t understand much of what he encountered.
One thing was easy to understand, though. A defenestrated man landing on the cobbles at Peter’s feet.
“What’re you lookin at?” the bleeding man said from where he lay prone.
“A mess I nearly stepped in,” Peter said before the words registered in his thoughts.
“Yeah? I’ll show you a mess!” The man lurched to his feet and more fell on than tackled Peter. Compared to the majority of the locals, he was large and muscular. Peter was still a foot taller and outweighed him by at least fifty pounds with the muscle he had put on during his travels. A single staggering step backward was all he needed to adapt.
“Okay, buddy, best you move along,” Peter said as he straightened to his full height and squared his shoulders. The man muttered something under his breath and squeezed Peter’s waist. “Seriously, there is no need for this.” Having his chest bitten by a grown man was where Peter drew the line. He wanted to give the fellow a third chance, but reflex took over and he clapped his hands together, one on each side of the drunk’s jaw. There was a sickening snap and pop, after which the man stumbled backward. “Sorry, but biting? Really?”
“Jerimiah! What do you think you’re doing?” A young woman stomped up to them. “I was coming to get you home, but I should let the guards take you!” Jerimiah made a gesture Peter couldn’t see at the woman. “I didn’t say I was going to, so don’t push your luck.” Looking at Peter, she changed her tone completely. “I’m sorry, he wasn’t too much trouble, was he?”
“Annoying, but not really trouble. He’s going to have a hard time talking unless you know a dryad or something. And I can’t speak for whoever’s window that is Jerimiah here went through,” Peter said, pointing up at the source of the glass littering the street.
“Lucky for him, my grandmother was one. Why I agreed to watch out for my brother-in-law, I can’t remember.” She laid hands on either side of Jerimiah’s face, and he gasped and arched his back, eyes wide. “That was a bit excessive, don’t you think?” she asked Peter.
“Yes, actually. I didn’t expect to be bitten, wasn’t prepared to fight the reflex. The dangers of assaulting strangers.”
“He bit you?”
“Yup.”
“Well, I’ve got to get him home to his wife. If you stick around for a bit, I’d like to talk to you some more.”
“Do you need a hand?”
“Nope. There’s a reason my sister didn’t come herself.” The quarter-dryad closed her hand around a pendant and waved at her brother-in-law, who started sliding and tumbling down the street as fast as she was walking.
“What the hell is going on?” Peter asked Marla as four guards approached.
“You seemed to know exactly what was going on a minute ago,” she answered.
“I meant how is she doing that. And why are these guards coming our way?”
“Magic, obviously, and because a man went through a second story window and attacked a stranger in the street. You didn’t expect them?”
“Right. It’s just been a lot in a very short time.”
“Says the man who wrestled a dragon and built an airship. Don’t worry, I’ll handle them.” Peter stepped back and gawked around like a tourist, not even paying attention to what Marla said to the guards.
“Good, you’re still here. I’m Celery, and I owe you a favour.” The woman from earlier was back.
“You don’t look like celery to me,” Peter said, then realized it wasn’t the expected response. “My name is Peter. Where I come from, celery is a plant that people eat the stalks of. A sharp, distinct flavour but nothing else going for it.”
“I know what celery is, I was named after it.”
“Is this like peppermint?”
“Peppermint? The only thing the two have in common is being plants people eat.”
“Explaining won’t make whole lot of sense unless I tell you way more than I intend to.”
“If you say so. Hang on, the owner has come out to talk to the guards.” Celery joined Marla and the guards talking to an angry woman dragging a muzzled bear-like creature by a chain. Once a guard accepted the chain, the woman smiled at Celery, hugging her. Celery came back. “Jerimiah and his friend got into an argument which devolved into a wrestling match resulting in Jerimiah being through the window. The wife of that friend has had enough and is demanding the guards take her husband to sit in a cell for a few days.”
“You’re saying that bear is a person?”
“Yeah. He’ll look like it when he calms down enough, at least. Not from around here, are you?”
“You have no idea.”
“If you and your lady-friend have time, you’re welcome to come round for tea. I really would like to repay you for not doing worse to him.”
“We’re only killing time, but I’ll ask her before I say yes.”
Coincidentally, Marla approached from behind him, asking “ask me what?”
“Celery here has invited us round for tea.”
“Oh, lovely. Are we going to tell your secrets to another random person who happens to take the time to talk to you?”
“That wasn’t the plan. I’d ask what I’m supposed to be keeping secret, but she can hear your answer. She wants to repay me for not killing her sister’s husband.”
“Let’s go, then.”
Celery led them to a tower that Peter thought looked like a stone pillar next to a tree had been twisted to spiral around one another. About thirty feet off the ground was perched a little cottage. A hollow at the base hid a spiral staircase giving access. The cottage consisted of one room and a loft above.
“Sorry, I don’t have proper chairs. Rugs and pillows are comfortable enough, right?”
“As long as me hitting the floor doesn’t shake your cottage off its perch,” Peter joked.
“You’re not that big, silly,” Marla answered. Peter caught sight of her cheeks flushing as she turned away to get comfortable. Peter lowered himself down without shaking the floor at all.
Celery held a kettle under a pipe and touched something Peter couldn’t see, causing water to spill out until she was satisfied she had enough. Instead of putting the kettle on a stove, she set it on a low table near them and tapped a gem set in the base. “So, what brings you to the Capital?”
Peter looked at Marla, then answered honestly but as vague as he could manage. “I needed to petition for something. It’s looking like it will take a while.”
“How did you wind up here if you can’t go back?”
“What?”
“I put up with enough shit from Jerimiah, don’t waste time. You don’t belong on this planet. The Council can send you home, but right now they’re useless.”
“Can I tell her the truth?” Peter asked Marla.
“How does she know that much but not the rest?”
“Probably the same way Honeyhips did.”
“What does the dryad have to do with her?”
“Her grandmother was one.”
“Oh. I should have guessed from the house. Yeah, tell her however much you feel you need to.”
“Long story short, someone from this world opened a portal to mine and I accidentally walked through it before it closed. Getting home has proved to be a bit of a hassle so far. As for the long story, well …” Peter started telling his tale. Again.
“Tea’s ready,” Celery announced when Peter stopped speaking. She poured into three cups, and Peter recognized the scent.
“Peppermint?”
“You mentioned it earlier.”
“I don’t understand how things from my world are turning up here in the Capital.”
“How do you know it’s from your world?”
“I suppose I don’t, but we have thousands of mints and closely related plants that have been in use for thousands of years.”
“That does make it seem likely.”
“Same with celery, and I found a book that I know was written on my world. Unless it really is a translation of a book from somewhere else like the author pretended.”
“That would make things trickier, yes.”
“How were you thinking of repaying me?”
“Originally just by enchanting a trinket for you, but after your story, maybe more. I happen to do a fair amount of work in the palace, keeping all the conveniences working nicely. I can find out more if you’d like. Barnabas and his cohorts are more reliable than the Council, but each has their own agenda and more secrets than you.”
“That would be nice, yes. But … what brought me down to the magic ward in the first place was curiosity about how magic works. Looking to find out how it is learned. Do you have any advice for me?”
“I probably shouldn’t admit this, but I could teach you some of it. I’m low on crystals, and nice clear ones that don’t scratch or shatter easily hold enchantments the best. Like the one around your neck.”
“Oh, the one allowing us to speak with each other.”
“Is that what it’s doing? Can I see it?”
“I’m rather fond of it. I am not good at learning languages, it turns out.”
“Don’t worry, I won’t take it. I’ve never met this Honeyhips, but she would likely make my life miserable if I did anything to hinder you by the sound of it.”
“Really? She usually just watches.”
“Yeah, but if you lose the charm and can’t communicate anymore, her entertainment is ruined. I’ve met enough of my cousins and aunts.”
“Okay, here.” Peter took off the necklace and handed it over. Celery and Marla were talking, but he had no idea what they were saying. He sat there awkwardly sipping his tea, burning his lip yet again.
After a few minutes, Celery handed the charm back, and Peter felt much better with it around his neck again. “That is very interesting. I suppose translating languages you don’t know is difficult, but that just makes it more impressive. It’s translating all languages, not just for your ears, but for those who hear you speak.”
“Yeah, Barnabas became curious when I effortlessly answered him in six different languages but then claimed to only speak one.”
“A double-edged sword, then.”
“You could say that. I can’t speak to their quality, but I happen to have more uncut gems than I know what to do with.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, the miners on the other side of the mountain were grateful for my help. Over there they’re pretty well worthless, since they’re so common.”
“Well, maybe we’ll be able to come to an agreement later. It was nice talking to you, but you should probably get back. I’ve kept you long enough.”
“Yes, it was nice talking to you. Thankyou. When will we talk again?”
“I’ll come find you.”
“Okay, goodbye then.”
Peter and Marla went back to the guard barracks, where an annoyed messenger was waiting impatiently.